B ecoming a mugger (to make any real money) takes patience. Your first mugging was a little wierd, but not nearly as bad as if you had used a gun. You just walked up to this old man in a parking lot one night, with no one else around, and asked him for a few bucks to get all cleaned up, at the shelter. Since you left your suit in the truck, down the street, he was forced to agree that you would indeed use it for that purpose. You saw that he had a lot more money in his billfold than he gave you, so you said you had some friends, they needed it, and you also had a sick mom who needed some medicine. The poor guy didn't know what hit him, he was just trying to get far away from you, and you wouldn't let him breath any fresh air. When he backed up, you stepped in. After five or so minutes of that sort of thing, he gave you all $200 on his person. (Including that in his jacket!) You were so happy at first, that you hugged him!

After he stopped beating you with his hat, he ran away and told the police. But you expected that he might, and hid in a garbage dumpster where they wouldn't dare look. You felt dishonest, but it did pay off... "It'll just take a little time." you tell yourself.

It continues this way for a week or so. Feeling slightly adventureous, you decide to change the game's layout a bit. Carefully choosing your prey, you jump down onto a mostly deserted street in front of a woman who looks as if she has a bit of money, and then you rip off your suit! At first, she starts to scream 'Pervert.' But then the smell hits her, and she realizes, since you still have clothes on, this was not the case. Backing her into a corner, you find yourself being a bit more adament than usual, just asking for all of her money, threating her with a threat of "making the smell worse." She gives in, throwing $55 dollars at you, crumpled up in a wad. You step aside, letting her pass. As you do, something inside of you wishes that you hadn't.

An hour passes. The police still have not come by. You begin to wonder if it is safe to get out of the dumpster and find another victim. Slowly, you peek out, and see a short, lanky, wimpy-looking guy who looks like his clothes alone could take a nice chunk off your bill. Thinking this is your lucky day, you jump out of the dumpster, and run him into the corner of the alley. "Gimmie all of your money, or I will keep you here, and, keep stinking!" You blurt. "I don't think so." He calmly says, and out of his jacket pocket, pulls a gasmask!

Knowing that this one could be worth a lot of money, you don't debate long over what you have to do- You reach for his mask, trying to rip it off. But he thwarts your mighty attempt and dodges left, and around you, until he is the one that has you cornered. "What is this?" you demand, "Why did you come here? Are you a cop?" "No, evildoer!" He shouts triumphantly, "I am your new arch nemisis, 'Fairman!' I stand for justice, truth, and what I think is right! -You must be the Stink.... I have been searching for you for a long, long time." A thousand thoughts begin racing through your mind. "My nemisis? A superhero? A long, long, time? Did he say FAIRMAN??"

"I have only been doing crimes for a week or so, fairy-man," you taunt, "So it can't be me your after!" "Don't be so modest-" he returns, "I have tracked you down, across the nation, through the fruited plains, in the hood, even in Washington DC, where you are at your most powerful, and I find you here, where you make your dwelling, being close to home, among the garbage like you belong. -You have been a worthy advisary, but I have made it my life's work to put you away, even if it's the last thing I do, you sultan of stink!" At this point, he is starting to make you mad. You have no idea if he has the wrong guy or not, but no matter what, this superhero wanna-be has definatly lost a few marbles. What can you do about him, though- you are not very violent, but he is really scrawny. It appears to be a fair fight. -If only you could get his gas mask off! A left hook in the nose might do it... or maybe you should just flee.


To become the world's biggest, stinkiest chicken, cluck here.

To pop him one in the stink-protected schnoz, click here.