itting across from Lady Azullia, on your knees, around a woven tablecloth laid
out over the floor, with incense burning in the center of it, she requsets you
to start chanting a phrase that you would swear was stolen from the cult in
"Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom."
"Moula-raahm, Mouhla raaaaam," she chants, and embarrasingly, so do
you. After about five minutes of this, she puts her hands together as if to
beg, and starts arguing with the ceiling. "I know he is offensive, but he's
paying me a lot of money. Please, come down and talk to us.... I could plug my
nose...." Is all you make out, but it is enough to tell you what is going on.
Just as Lady Azullia is starting to look like she has lost all hope, her eyes
jump wide open and she sits with a blank, startled look on her face for a
moment, then: "Heya, stink-o," you hear in a very familliar accent, "It's me,
Jack!" Wow, the best friend you ever had, Jack Bluskin, your mentor, the old
guy that taught you everything you ever knew about the buisness. Coincidently,
you realize, that means he is the one responsible for your problem.
"Jack! -You old piece of shit!" You exclaim. "How are you?" "DEAD!" He
proudly pronounces, "You remember, don't you, I saw you at my funeral..." "I
know you're dead," you reply, "but, well, what's it like there, I mean, how are
they treating ya? -What can you tell me about the Afterlife?" "Needs some
Oregeno." He answers. "But I can tell you something about your problem."
"Anything!" you exclaim. You don't bother to make him feel guilty about putting
you in the situation to begin with, because it is so very strange to hear his
voice come from a small gypsy woman, not a way you ever wanted to think of your
friend, and you want it over as soon as possible. "What do I need to do?"
"Bernie, I know that you are mad at me for making you like this. I was
nearly as stinky as you are by the time I passed on. But the only way to become
purified, to clean out the stench from your system, is to come with me into the
spirit world and right a wrong of both our pasts." "What?!!??" You scream, "I
gotta die?" "No, not at all." Your long-dead friend assures, "Well, maybe just a
little- I need you to leave your earthly body, and join me in the spirit world
so I can show you the truth about what happened to us, so that you can come
back and right the great wrong."
After asking all the questions there are to ask the spirit, Lady Azullia
assures you that she can safely aid the spirit of Jack in sending you both into
and back from the spirit realm. -For Ten thousand dollars! Your Spidey sense is
tingling- this just might be a great big hoax. On the other hand, not only does
this promise to solve your problem, you would have a chance to right whatever
"Great Wrong" your dead friend is moaning about.